I woke up and fell back asleep. I couldn't make myself cook things, so I ate a banana and dates. I stayed in my pajamas until after noon. I didn't want to go anywhere or talk to anybody.
But I had to, so I did.
I found out yesterday that a lady from my church that I have known almost my entire life died last week. I didn't know she was in bad shape and it came as a shock. I think I'm still in shock. It's like the tears are in my eyes but refuse to fall.
I am pissed that I'm feeling down because I had a fantastic weekend with my friend Ashley and the weather hasn't been totally unbearable. Yet... here I sit listening to sad cello music and reading sad Avengers fanfiction. In fact, you should listen to the sad cello music too!
Now that you are crying from sad Bach, judge me for being sad.
I've been feeling a lot of self-deprecation lately. I just feel really down about myself and what I want to do with my life. I saw a seven year old selfie on my Timehop the other day and it made me hate who I have become. Where has that smiling, happy, healthy girl gone? I'm not sure, but I want to find her again.
Until then, I will just continue listening to Yo-yo Ma play cello and hope it makes me a little happier.
Talk at you all again tomorrow.
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